Thanks. Giving. And beyond. - November 25, 2012
It's been real easy to be passive about performing out the last few months. It's no secret I've been unhappy with the lack of local interest in what I do... ironic, given I see much of the same indifference to performing songwriters I feel nearly walk on water, when they've performed locally. I've spent too much time feeling jealous about opportunities and gigs I see others landing, often completely passively. Too much time letting the negativity and indifference wash over me. This changes for 2013.
I've come to accept that I'm not going to be one of the "inner circle" in the local music scene. That what I do isn't as popular as, say, Celtic or balls-out blues, or finger-blistering flatpicking. That people I've made opportunities for, worked to help and promote and create gig opportunities for, aren't going to return the favor. I'm working on being fine with that, because some people I completely admire and respect, people who are, well, damn good, see the merit in what I do.
I went to NERFA for the first time this year with an air of trepidation, figuring this would either bring things to a head one way or the other... I would return either energized and ready to play, or ready to throw in the towel when it came to playing out. I was so afraid it would be the latter... and am basking in the mildly-intimidating warm glow that it was not. For this, I thank you, Ethan Baird. Marc Douglas Berardo. Meg Braun. Jake Bush. John Hamilton. Mike Kornfeld. Carolann Solebello. Frank Tedesso. And the people whose names I don't know, who listened - sometimes, closely - during the showcases. Who made me feel welcomed, and loved, and appreciated.
Obviously, we can't think all the people who show us support or give us guidance during our musical journey, but that list should include some people who weren't at NERFA but were in spirit: Cynthia, of course. Gene and Isabel Frey, stalwart friends and supporters. Doug Irwin, who has been there since my first solo gig. Lori Wilson, my most faithful audience member. And my dear friend Hannah Bingman, at times the only voice gently raised in objection when I was saying "...fuck this shit. What the hell is the point...nobody cares." (Pardon my language, but it pretty much was a direct quote.)
On this, three days after Thanksgiving 2012, I just want you to know the friendship, support and love has not gone unnoticed. Now... who wants to do some shows together in 2013?